everyone thinks i have no feelings so they all yell at me or say shit in front of me that isn't nice or w/e. so once i leave everyone even my own famliy, i go in my room with the lights off my music blaring loud, sit on my bed then crying. crying for hours and no one cares that i cry sometimes i have cried in front of some friends and family and they don't do anything they just bascially ingore me and just start a converstaion with someone ingoreing the fact that i'm crying. no one has help or care for me since forever. everyone rather have me died like that friends i lost because they weren't really my friends cuz they all said it was all my fuckin fault that i was fucked up and everything i did was hurting them all and i didn't care bout them or anything. how could i not care about them when i was with them through their hard times in their life does that mean i dont care if i was with them through everything. then when i left my old high school to go to another high school. they all said its my fault that i don't care my fault that i hurt others and myself. the only things the are really my own fault is my drinking and cutting that the only things that are really my fault and i admit to that. but they saying i don't care when i was with them and trying to make things better for them. thanks a whole lot saying i never care and everything was my fault for no fuckin reason. i feel so better and happy when u all fuckin said that to me. ever since they say that i still hear their voices in my head saying it to me. why do people think i'm cold-hearted when i was with them all for about everything that happen to them. a few of them would say even worse things then the others saying if i look at someone they would die in a horrible death or that i always kill someone just for the hell of it and other things that pissed me off but inside it hurt so much that i cried after i left and went in my room. everytime i'm in room i'm usually crying or cutting myself up sometimes i would sneak in my wine and start drinking and sometimes finsihing the bottle. i already heard from my mom and my therapist that its my own fault for letting things bother me and all this other shit. why can't they leave me the hell alone they don't fuckin care in first fuckin place it fuckin pretend. all i do with my therapist is lie to her cuz she doesn't want to help me and is prentening to care like she my friend or something. well i've said more they i usaually say so ja ne

~Forbidden Moon Child of Darkness